


Stars Fall in Snow

by lilgulie5



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Drama, F/M, Family Secrets, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy, Romance, Secret Identity, Secret Relationship, Smut, Taboo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 04:15:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18909358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilgulie5/pseuds/lilgulie5
Summary: The Tourney at Harrenhal was just the beginning for Ned Stark and Ashara Dayne. Robert's Rebellion was far from the end. The Quiet Wolf fell in love with a maid with laughing purple eyes. This is their song. This is their legacy. This is their tragedy.





	Stars Fall in Snow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LustOnMyFingers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LustOnMyFingers/gifts).



> This fic is LONG overdue and has been a labor of love months in the making. It's dedicated to my wonderfully amazing and brilliant friend Sharon (LustOnMyFingers) who shares this theory with me and made the beautiful moodboard. We've been discussing this theory together for over a year now and I've been wanting to write this fic for a long time. 
> 
> That being said, I KNOW this fic isn't everyone's cup of tea. If you aren't into N+A=D then this is your cue to turn around now. There is a side helping of Jonerys because I thought it would be cool to insert what was happening currently on GoT with this theory in mind.

 

**_Winterfell- 284 AC_ **

 

“My lord,” Maester Luwin said as he knocked on the open door of Eddard Stark’s chambers. 

 

“Come in, Maester Luwin,” Ned replied as he stripped off his riding gear. Summer had finally come to Westeros and the afternoon ride had made him hot. 

 

“A raven delivered this letter this afternoon. I believe it’s from the Hand of the King.” 

 

_ Jon Arryn _ , Ned thought, pressing a damp cloth to the back of his neck. The last he had heard from the man who was like a second father to him he was preparing to leave King’s Landing for Dorne, to return the bones of the slain prince, Lewyn Martell. He held his hand out for the letter and broke open the seal. 

 

_ Ned,  _

 

_ I’ve recently returned to King’s Landing from Dorne after brokering a tenuous peace with Doran Martell, thought if it were up to his younger, brasher, brother Oberyn there would be none. It is my sincerest hope that our kingdom can now begin to heal itself of the grievous and deep wounds inflicted upon it.  _

 

_ The Star amongst the Sun has given birth to a beautiful, silver-haired daughter with eyes of the palest violet. They almost appear grey. She has been named Alyssa and will be raised alongside the children who frequent the Water Gardens. All is as it should be. All is as it  _ _ must _ _ be.  _

 

_ For the Realm, _

_ Jon Arryn, Hand of the King _

 

Ned took the letter and committed every word to memory before setting it aflame and dropping it into the hearth. The fire licked over the parchment until it was little more than ash, consuming the letter and the secrets it contained. 

 

* * *

**_Kingswood- After the Sack of King’s Landing- 283 AC_ **

 

They were dead. All of them. Rhaegar on the Trident. Aerys near his throne. Elia and her children...all of them, save for the Queen and Prince Viserys. King’s Landing had smelt of fire, shit, and death, but somehow she had survived. 

 

The Mad King would not allow her to flee to Starfall, just as he would not allow Elia and her children to flee to Dragonstone with the Queen. He believed the Dornish had betrayed Rhaegar on the Trident, but she felt like her punishment had been more personal. A punishment for being close to Eddard Stark. Aerys could not have the Lord of Winterfell’s head on a spike, so he would hurt those closest to him. 

 

_ If only he had known how close, _ Ashara thought as she looked over to Ned. He was sound asleep on his pallet and she wondered if all soldiers could sleep through anything. Her brother certainly could. Just the fact that she did not know if Arthur was alive or dead kept her from sleeping. Every time she closed her eyes she saw the face of her friends who had been slain. The night in the Kingswood was quiet, save for a few soldier murmuring around a fire, yet she could still hear the screams. She had hidden in the cellars far below the Red Keep, sent there by Elia when they watched the Lannister forced march through the castle gates. 

 

“Save yourself,” Elia had begged her as Ashara clung to her friend. “I will order you if I must.” 

 

The cellars had been dank and dark, used mostly for storage. Once she hid herself in an empty grain sack, she crouched down behind some casks of wine and extinguished her candle. Minutes stretched into hours and she had needed to clap her hand over her mouth to keep from crying out when she heard the clamor of armor and footfalls. If the Lannister men found her they would surely not let her live. 

 

But it was not the voice of Tywin Lannister she heard, or even that of Jaime. Instead she nearly wept when she heard Ned’s voice. She was not sure what made him go down into the cellars and she still had not asked. 

 

They had clung to one another more fiercely than they ever had before, more fiercely than any night they had shared before he took another woman to wife. It was Ned who told her about Elia, Rhaenys, and Aegon. 

 

_ Would anyone believe me if I told them the Lord of Winterfell wept in my arms when he told me everything that happened?  _ she wondered.  

 

He refused to stay in the capital, choosing to ride for the Kingswood instead. On the morrow they would ride for Storm’s End to lift the siege there. The war was over, there was nothing left for Mace Tyrell to fight for. 

 

That night, before he lay down to sleep he had begged her for word of his sister. Ashara could not lie to him. He may have pledged himself to another, but she never could. He was still her Ned, still the man she had fallen in love with at Harrenhal and he deserved the truth. 

 

“She’s in Dorne,” she told him. She sat cross-legged on her pallet and stared down at her hands in her lap. 

 

“Starfall? Sunspear?” 

 

“No, neither of those places.” 

 

“Where?” he asked desperately. “Ashara, if you know where she is  _ please _ tell me.” 

 

“I don’t know exactly where. Only that it’s a Tower of some kind in the Prince’s Pass of the Red Mountains.” 

 

“Your brother’s there?” 

 

She nodded. 

 

“That’s why he wasn’t on the Trident or in King’s Landing.” 

 

Another nod. 

 

“How many are with him?” 

 

“I don’t know. I’m sorry, Ned.” 

 

“You’re sorry? Your brother is holding my sister hostage for a dead man who will never come for her and you’re sorry?” 

 

“Holding her hostage? Is that what you think?” 

 

“What else would he and the other Kingsguard be doing?” 

 

“Protecting her from your best friend,” she spat back at him. “The same  _ friend _ who ordered the death of  _ children _ .” 

 

“That wasn’t Robert. That was the doing of Tywin Lannister.” 

 

“Baratheon or Lannister, it doesn’t even matter. They’re monsters.” 

 

“And what of me, Shara? Am I a monster, too? A dog?” 

 

“Of course not, Ned. You never could be.” 

 

“No? Couldn’t I be? I’ve done terrible things in this war.” 

 

Perhaps he had. Perhaps Ned had run a thousand men through with his sword, widowing countless women, but to Ashara the greatest offense he had committed had not been through any fault of his own. 

 

She knew it had been foolish to think that either of them would come through the war unscathed. Foolish to think they would be able to be together, but a small part of her held out hope. Their families fought on opposing sides, but were they so different from Rhaegar and Lyanna? Once the war was over, would not an alliance sealed with a marriage between the opposing sides be beneficial for the realm? 

 

“I’ve done terrible things to you,” Ned admitted quietly. 

 

“What?” she blinked. “How could you think that?” 

 

“I dishonored you by taking you into my bed and not marrying you.” 

 

His words stung her just as surely as a slap across her face. 

 

“You did  _ not _ dishonor me. I wanted you and you wanted me. We didn’t know if we would see one another again. We didn’t know if we would live to see the end of the war.” 

 

“Even so, I married her.” 

 

“Do you love her?” she asked before she could stop herself. She regretted it in an instant. 

 

“Can you love someone you’ve only just met?” 

 

“I knew I loved you at Harrenhal.” 

 

Ned stared at her from across the small tent. His sharp grey eyes grew sad as he nodded. 

 

“Aye. And so did I. As do I still.” 

 

She was not sure whether his words made her feel better or worse about everything that had transpired since the Tourney. It was little comfort to know she was still loved by him. Starfall and Winterfell were as far from one another as they could be. He would return North with his sister and his new wife and forget all about the horrors of the war. He would father children and maybe one day he would even tell them stories about the Rebellion. Her name would not be included. 

 

“You need to rest,” she said. 

 

“After we lift the siege, it’s best if you return to Starfall.” 

 

“I could go with you, I could help.” 

 

Ned shook his head. “I’m taking seven of my best men and riding hard for the Red Mountains.” 

 

“And I can’t ride? We have horses in Dorne, you know.” 

 

“This is how it has to be. I’ll see you’re put on a ship. It’ll get you there faster. This has to be our goodbye.” 

 

“I already said goodbye to you once, Ned,” Ashara said as she lay down on her pallet and turned her back towards him. “Don’t expect me to say it again.” 

 

The siege, if it could be called that, on Storm’s End was lifted easily. Mace Tyrell gave up the stronghold without so much as a single arrow loosed towards Ned and his men. That evening, after embracing for what she thought would be the last time, Ashara kissed Ned’s cheek and bid him farewell. 

 

* * *

 

 

“My lady,” the servant said, pulling her attention away from the window. “Lord Stark is here.” 

 

“I know,” she replied. “Tell him I don’t want to see him.” 

 

“Wylla is with him. He has Dawn.” 

 

_ Dawn. _

 

Ashara felt her throat constrict as she swallowed a silent sob and nodded. She would see him,  _ had _ to see him. 

 

“I’ll receive Lord Stark and his sister in the hall. Have them wait for me there.” 

 

“My lady. Lord Stark’s sister is not with him.” 

 

The wave of nausea that swept over her was nothing new, but Ashara pushed through it and past the servant girl as she ran towards Starfall’s Great Hall. There was one reason and one reason alone why Ned would have Dawn, but she couldn’t imagine why Lyanna would not be with him, especially since Wylla had come home to Starfall. Perhaps he sent Lyanna home to Winterfell so he could return Dawn. She could not pretend to be ignorant of the reason why Rhaegar had asked her for a wet nurse. The difficult terrain of Dorne was no place for a babe. It was possible he sent her with an armed guard back to Winterfell. 

 

“Ned,” she called to him as she entered the Great Hall. She was out of breath and her voice sounded strange, so much so that she wondered if she had even spoken at all. 

 

He turned slowly and lifted his head to look at her. In his hands was Dawn, sheathed in its scabbard and wrapped in a white cloak. She wanted to turn and run out of the room, but instead her feet propelled her forward. As she drew closer to him she could see his face more clearly. It was at the same time so much the same and yet so different, a painted mask of grief and sorrow. 

 

“Ned,” she whispered and held her trembling hands out. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head and placed the sword in her hands. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could take it back.” 

 

Ashara had lifted Dawn many times and yet the sudden weight of it mingled with the weight of his words and the realization that her brother was gone was too much, too overwhelming for her and she felt herself beginning to crumble to the floor. She would have sunk all the way down had Ned not moved quickly enough to catch her. Her head swam, but she did not faint and he carefully led her to a chair at one of the long tables that stretched across the hall. 

 

“I didn’t want to fight him,” he tried to explain as he knelt in front of her. “I wouldn’t have if he just would’ve stood aside. I only meant to wound him, but Howland...” 

 

She nodded as tears streamed down her cheeks. Arthur swore a vow to protect and obey not only the king, but his family. Arthur was Rhaegar’s closest friend and confidant. If the Prince of Dragonstone asked Arthur to protect Lyanna, he would, no matter the cost. He could have easily died at any time by any man’s hand, but the thought of it being Ned who dealt the last blow was a knife in her heart. Another life, another loss in this cruel and senseless war. 

 

“Forgive me,” she sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “You must be tired. I’ll have the servants take you to our guest quarters and bring you food. You and Lyanna.” 

 

“Lya…” Ned mouthed. “She’s not here.” 

 

“I thought you might’ve sent her back to Winterfell ahead of you.” 

 

“She’s gone, Shara.” 

 

Lyanna was dead. The thought had not crossed her mind before and yet it explained why Ned had brought Dawn back himself. He would have never left his sister’s side, would never have let her make the journey back to Winterfell alone. Not after Robert had won the war. It explained why he looked so broken as he knelt before her. This was not the Ned Stark she fell in love with at Harrenhal. This was a young man who had been broken by nearly a year of harsh war, a boy who had lost father, brother, and now a beloved sister. 

 

She reached out and cupped his face in her hand, wiping a tear that had slipped from his eye away with her thumb. His head fell forward and she leaned in, wrapping her arms around him and letting him sob against her shoulder. 

 

“I didn’t know what to do or where to go,” he mumbled.  

 

“You were right to come here,” Ashara replied. 

 

“What am I going to do with him?” 

 

“With who?” 

 

“Her son.” 

 

“Her child lives?” 

 

“Aye,” Ned replied. “She made me promise to protect him with her last breath, but I don’t know how.” 

 

“He’s Rhaegar’s heir then.” 

 

Ned shook his head. “He can’t be. If Robert finds out that a Targaryen child lives, he will come after him. If anyone were to learn the truth about him...” 

 

“Look at me,” Ashara commanded, holding his face in her hands. “He will not. We won’t let him.” 

 

“How can you be so sure?” 

 

“Because I know you. We’ll figure something out. A plan. You look like you could use a wash and a hot meal though. We can have a maester examine him.” 

 

“He’s small. I don’t think he would’ve made it if it wasn’t for Wylla.” 

 

“He’ll be alright, Ned.” 

 

* * *

**_The Road to Winterfell- Twenty-Three Years Later_ **

 

“Your turn,” Jon said as he handed the dice to Daenerys. They were huddled close to one another in her tent. “What did you think the first time you saw me?” 

 

“I thought you were too little for me,” she replied honestly as she tossed the dice onto the table. 

 

Jon laughed aloud at that and she elbowed him in the side. It may have been an open secret that they chose to spend most of their nights together, but she did not want it to be completely obvious. Not yet. Word spread quickly and the very last thing she wanted was for news of their relationship to reach Winterfell before they did. 

 

“Sorry,” he whispered deliberately and brought his lips close to her ear. “And now? Now what do you think of me?” 

 

“I think,” Dany said, turning her head to brush her lips against his. “You might be just right, Jon.” 

 

* * *

**_Starfall- 283 AC_ **

 

_ He doesn’t look like an Aegon _ , Ashara thought as she rocked the child from side to side in her arms. She had joined them in the chambers she had made ready for them after Ned had bathed and the maester had finished looking the boy over. She had been surprised when Ned told her Lyanna named her son Aegon. There had already been a son of Rhaegar’s named Aegon. Had she somehow already known what had happened in the capital? The new little prince looked little and less like his older half-brother. He was indeed small and had dark hair and the grey eyes of the Starks. She could not help but see Ned in him. 

 

_ He could easily have been our son _ …

 

“It’s fortunate he doesn’t look like his father,” Ashara observed. “He’ll fit in amongst you Northerners.” 

 

“I don’t know how I’ll explain this to Catelyn.” 

 

“Do you trust her with the truth?” 

 

“I barely know her.” 

 

“You will,” she assured him, though it pained her. “One day you will and on that day you can trust her with the truth, but until then you need a plan.” 

 

“A lie you mean,” Ned replied, incredulously. 

 

She knew that Ned hated lying. Other men could play false and lie as easily as they told the truth, but Ned could not. 

 

“Yes, a lie. A lie to keep this child safe. A lie to save this child’s life. You know that if Robert knows this is Rhaegar’s son he will never let him live. But a son of yours he would not think twice about.” 

 

“You think I should claim him as my own? A bastard?” 

 

“It’s the safest thing I can think of. He’d be hiding in plain sight. He’d be among his mother’s people, his mother’s family.” 

 

“I promised Lya that I would protect him,” he repeated. 

 

“Sometimes you can only protect someone by sending them away, but not this time. Where could you send him that would be safer than he is with you?” 

 

“People will talk. They’ll ask me who his mother is.” 

 

“What right have people to question their lord? Tell them it was some tavern wench.” 

 

“Everyone who knows me, knows that isn’t the kind of man I am. Even Catelyn knows that much.” 

 

_ He’s right _ , Ashara sighed. Ned Stark was known for his honor above all else. He was fair, just, and compassionate. If he lacked honor, he would have sat on the Iron Throne and taken it for himself. He believed in the order of the world. Few people would believe that Ned had sullied his honor on a tavern wench. She looked down at the babe in her arms and her heart ached for him. Barely a month old and he already carried the enormity of the world on his shoulders, even if he did not know it yet. He  _ could _ have been their child. Even if he had violet eyes and silver hair, Ned could have told the fickle Northerns that he was her son. Though they were not Valyrian, the Daynes shared many of the same features as House Targaryen. 

 

“Tell them he’s mine,” she said and her heart broke into pieces. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Tell them he’s my son, or don’t. Let them believe what they want. When you return North with Wylla they might assume as much. Let them.” 

 

“What about you?” 

 

“What about me?” 

 

“You wouldn’t want to keep our child? What right would I have to take it from you?” 

 

“I want a great many things, Ned,” Ashara said sadly. 

 

_ Many things I’ll never have.  _ She wanted the war to have never happened. She wanted the night they spent talking together during the Tourney at Harrenhal to have lasted forever. She wanted Brandon to be alive and Rickard, too. She wanted Arthur, Elia, Lyanna, and Rhaegar to have lived. There were many things she wanted to tell Ned and many things she would hate herself for keeping from him. She wanted the chance to place a child-  _ their child-  _ into his arms and tell him how much they looked like him. She wanted to grow old with him, even if it meant giving up every comfort she had ever known, to live as the common folk did, so long as she could be with him as man and wife. 

 

“Many things I’ll never have. I could...disappear.” 

 

Ned stood and walked over to stand close to her. His hair was still wet and he smelled of soap and oils. He stared at her for a long while, so long it made her feel uncomfortable, but she could not look away. She thought he might kiss her and in another time, in another place, he might have. Instead, he tore his eyes away and looked down at Aegon. 

 

“I can’t ask you to do that.” 

 

“You’re not asking me, Ned.” 

 

“Then I can’t let you do this. Stop and think about what you’d be giving up.” 

 

“I’ve had long enough to think about what I’ve given up,” she replied, her words as sharp as the edge of a finely honed blade. “What else is there for me to give up? I was a lady-in-waiting. Now who will I serve? I won’t serve whoever Robert marries. I’m sure she’ll be as vile as he is. I won’t serve him either. What’s there for me here? My eldest brother is Lord of Starfall.” 

 

The babe had fallen asleep in her arms and she gently placed him into the cradle the servants had brought up to Ned’s chambers. He would need to be fed soon. When she turned back to face him, she hugged her arms around her body. 

 

“Throughout this war, I felt like I didn’t have a role to play. I was loyal to Elia, to Rhaegar even, but I never felt like I was on one side or another. I didn’t know what I could do to help. Perhaps this is it.” 

 

“Where would you go?” 

 

“I could go to Sunspear. We’ve always been close with Oberyn and Doran. They would keep me safe if I asked. From there, who knows. Maybe Braavos, maybe Pentos.” 

 

“What will you tell your family?” 

 

“Leave that to me.” 

 

“Ashara…” 

 

“Maybe Ashara needs to die,” she pondered. “Another name, another casualty of this war.” 

 

“You would give up that to help me?” He sounded like he was beginning to feel receptive to the idea. 

 

“I would give up anything for you, Ned. I didn’t stop loving you when you married her.” 

 

“Aye, nor did I stop loving you. But you needn’t fake your death to help me.” 

 

“Do you trust me?” 

 

“Without question.” 

 

“Then leave this to me.” 

 

Ned cupped her face in his hand, brushing a thumb across her cheek and nodded. He leaned in so close that their noses touched. She lifted her own hand and placed it on his wrist, not sure whether to hold it in place it tear it away from her. 

 

_ Knock, Knock, Knock _

 

“Come in!” she called, her voice ascending into a higher pitch than she was used to as she stepped away from him. 

 

Wylla entered the room to check on the still sleeping Aegon and Ashara instructed her to take him to be fed when he awoke and to keep him close to her throughout the night. She had come with Ned from the Tower of Joy, the wet nurses hardly needed to be told how to care for an infant. When they left, Ashara turned back to Ned. His face was so careworn, his eyes tired. She could not begin to imagine the exhaustion he must have felt. 

 

“I should leave you, too,” she suggested. “We’ll speak more in the morning.” 

 

She began to turn away from him when he caught her by the wrist, holding it gently as his hand slid down to grasp her own. 

 

“Stay,” he whispered.

 

“Ned...I can’t.” 

 

“Please,” he begged, the corners of his lips pulling downward. “Just...lie next to me. I haven’t slept properly in weeks.” 

 

Even when she had refused him, she knew it was half-hearted. In truth she knew that she could never refuse a request from him, especially at a time like this. Slowly, she nodded her head in agreement and followed him over to the bed. As he pulled off his boots and shirt, she slipped out of her dress until she stood only in her shift. She waited for him to climb under the covers before easing into the bed herself, pulling the coverlet over her body. 

 

Without a thought or a word, Ashara reached out for him and pulled Ned close to her. She wrapped her arms around him and let him settle against her until his head was resting upon her breast. A small part of her wondered if he would notice a change in her, if she would seem different from the way he remembered her when last he saw her before he rode away to the Battle of the Bells months ago. Nothing would ever be the same again, for them and for everyone else. 

 

* * *

Ned had fallen asleep in her arms in a matter of minutes, but Ashara felt like she had lain awake most of the night. The only evidence that she slept at all was the fact that she dreamed of the night they spent together just before he left for the Battle of the Bells. The night they had given themselves to one another completely. It was so real, so vivid. 

 

Through the dream she could feel his lean, hard body moving over her and within her. She remembered the way it felt to dance her fingers across the muscles in his back and shoulders, the way he filled her so completely as no man had before, nor likely would ever again. 

 

And when she woke, it was his name upon her lips and she could not be certain that she had not actually cried aloud in the stillness of his chamber. Her breathing was still labored as her eyes adjusted to the darkness around her and she listened for the familiar and steady sound of his even breathing. If she had cried out, he had not noticed. As she regained more of her senses, she could tell that he still lay draped across her form and she wriggled from under him, careful not to wake him. 

 

Ashara covered herself with her robe and lit a taper. The sky outside her window was a dusky pink, a sign that dawn was coming even if it had not yet arrived. She made her way to Wylla’s chamber, she hated to alarm the wet nurse, but she seemed to nod in a quiet understanding when Ashara asked for Aegon and brought him back to Ned’s chambers. She had not expected to see Ned sitting up in his bed when she returned. 

 

“I had hoped not to disturb you,” she sighed apologetically. “You slept so soundly.” 

 

“S’alright,” he mumbled. 

 

“I thought you might want him here when you woke up.” 

 

She brought the babe over to the bed and eased onto the mattress, pulling the swaddling clothes away from his face to study his features more closely. 

 

“He looks content where he is.” 

 

“Ned, there’s something I need to tell you. You’ve come here because you trust me, but I don’t...I can’t let you leave here without knowing something, even if it changes nothing. I must tell you.” 

 

“Ashara, whatever it is, you can tell me. No matter what.” 

 

She closed her eyes. This was not the way she had intended on telling him, but if he was to leave for the North she could not let him ride away from Starfall without knowing. She had lied to men before and might lie to men again, but she had never and could never lie to him. He brought out an honesty in her. 

 

“I wonder if this little one will ever grow up to know his come to know his cousin.”  

 

“What?” he asked. “What are you saying?” 

 

“Ned, I’m with child.” 

 

“ _ Our _ ...child?”

 

“Yes, our child. Who else’s would it be?” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Ned apologized quickly, his brow furrowing as he sought the right words. “I was taken aback. I just...why didn’t you tell me?” 

 

“How was I to tell you? What would I say? By the time I realized it you were already wed and I didn’t know how to tell you, or if I should.” 

 

“This changes everything.” 

 

“It can’t.” 

 

“How can you even say that?” 

 

“Because I’m thinking about more than just myself and you must, too.” 

 

“Come back to Winterfell with me,” he blurted out. 

 

“And be what? A mistress who lives with your child in the Winter Town?” 

 

“Ashara, please. I’ll see that you are both cared for.” 

 

“Ned,” she practically groaned.  _ “Think _ . If you follow your thoughts through to a conclusion, they will take us to a place we cannot go.” 

 

“I can’t leave you. Not now.” 

 

“You have to. Your people know you, my love. They know you’re an honorable man. They might be able to believe it if you come home with one bastard child, but two? They’re too close in age to both be ours.”

 

“I don’t understand.” 

 

“I already told you to let them believe the boy is mine.” 

 

“You’re asking me to give up my child.” 

 

“I’m asking you trust me as Lyanna trusted you. There may come a day when things will be different, but this is what must be for now.” 

 

“Fate has dealt us a cruel hand,” Ned said bitterly. 

 

“A father must protect his family,” Ashara replied. “This is the best way to do that right now.” 

 

“Will you write to me?” 

 

“Do you think it’s safe? Do you trust your men?” 

 

“I’ll burn the letters after I read them.” 

 

“People might think it’s strange that the Lord of Winterfell is receiving a raven from Dorne.” 

 

Ned thought for a moment before he spoke again. “Send them through Jon Arryn then. No one will think twice if I receive a raven from him and there is no one in the world I trust more than Jon.” 

 

* * *

**_The Road to Winterfell- Twenty-Three Years Later_ **

 

“Tomorrow we’ll reach Winterfell,” Dany said as she sipped her ale. 

 

“Aye,” Jon replied. “Nervous?”

 

“I’m the Mother of Dragons, the rightful queen of the Seven Kingdoms. I’m coming as an ally to help the North.” 

 

“I know all of that. But I asked if you were nervous?” 

 

“A little,” she admitted begrudgingly. “I don’t know what to expect. I’ve never done...this.” 

 

“What?” he asked, tearing off another piece of bread from the loaf they shared. He tried not to notice that she had barely touched her food, or that it was something that had been occurring more and more recently of late. “You’ve never done what before?” 

 

“Met someone’s family this way.” 

 

“You met Drogo’s people.” 

 

“That was different. If they talked about me I could barely understand them in the early days. By the time I had grasped Dothraki enough I had already won them over. And still, I had enemies.” 

 

“Northerners don’t much trust outsiders and the same goes for Sansa. I was always an outsider to her when we were growing up.” 

 

“But you’re not anymore.” 

 

“No,” Jon said with a half-hearted smile. “It’s amazing what loss has done to bring us together.” 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” 

 

“I know you didn’t. Arya and Bran will be easier to win over, I think. What did I tell you on the ship from Eastwatch?” 

 

“They would come to see me for who I am,” Dany repeated. “And who am I? Your queen?” 

 

“You’re the woman I love. The woman I trust with my life,” Jon replied and leaned over to kiss her. “And don’t forget that.” 

 

“And I love you, Jon.” 

 

“You once told me that Barristan told you that my father fought with Robert about whether or not the king should send assassins after you. He was willing to give up his position as hand over it. I’ll tell all of them that if I have to.” 

 

* * *

**_Where the Torrentine meets Summer Sea- 283 AC_ **

 

They left for Sunspear under the cover of night. She had told Ned to leave the details of her  _ disappearance  _ to her. Ashara left her rooms in a state of disarray. Chairs were turned over, bed linens were out of place, an inkwell was tipped over onto her writing desk next to a note she had hastily scribbled. She took nothing with her. Nothing so that it could not be suggested that she had left and not thrown herself from the window of her chambers in the Palestone Sword. The window she left open and was even careful to tear a piece of her dress and catch it on the latch so that it looked as if it had torn in her haste to cast herself into the sea. 

 

In a way, she had. Ashara, Ned, Wylla, and Aegon boarded a small skiff that carried them down the Torrentine until it reached the harbor at the Summer Sea. There, Ned booked passage for them on a ship ready to set sail for the eastern coast of Dorne.  __

 

The journey was not a long one. Though she was sick- whether from the sea or from the child she carried, she did not know- Ashara wished she could have stayed on that boat with Ned and sail around the known parts of the world. She slept by his side each night and woke in his arms each morning. 

 

“He needs a new name,” she said as she held Aegon while Ned ate breakfast on the second morning of their voyage. 

 

“Aye,” he replied, taking a sip of ale. 

 

“Have you thought of any?”

 

“Aye.” 

 

“And?” 

 

“Jon. Jon Arryn wasn’t my father, but he helped raise me. Helped teach me to be a good man. Maybe I can do the same.” 

 

“Jon,” Ashara said, touching the infant’s cheek. “I think it suits him.” 

 

“And...have you given names any thought?” 

 

His question took her by surprise. They had not spoken of their child since leaving Starfall, but she would be lying if she did not say that she had given it thought. 

 

“Would you be opposed to Arthur if it’s a boy?” 

 

Ned frowned at that, though not out of anger. “Of course not. A fine name. You think it’s a boy?” 

 

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I haven’t given a name for a girl as much thought. Do you have any thoughts on that?”

 

“Alyssa,” Ned said with certainty. 

 

“Any particular reason?” 

 

“There’s a waterfall in the Vale of Arryn. I used to go there as a young boy when I was fostered at the Eyrie. Her legend isn’t a happy one, but it’s a pretty name. Maybe if it’s a girl, she’ll have a better life, a happier life.” 

 

“Maybe she’ll do great things,” Ashara added. 

 

“I’d just be content knowing she was always safe.” 

 

“You have my word. No matter what, Ned. I will always do whatever I have to do to keep our child safe.” 

 

* * *

“We’ll arrive at Sunspear by morning,” Ned said as Ashara closed the door to the small cabin they shared after seeing that Jon and Wylla needed nothing else for the night. 

 

“Good,” she nodded. “That’s very good to hear.” 

 

She hoped her words sounded believable, though she knew they likely did not. Ashara was not ready to leave Ned, not yet, but on the morrow she would have to say goodbye to him for the last time and the thought of it made her heart ache. As if he sensed her discomfort, he quietly approached her and placed a hand first on one arm and then the other until he was able to turn her around to face him. When he offered her a sad smile she buried her face in his chest and clung to him. She could have remained in that embrace for an eternity, but he soon pulled back. Ashara gazed up into his grey eyes and before she could even speak, Ned bent his head and kissed her. 

 

It was the first time he had kissed her since the night they spent together before the Battle of the Bells. She very nearly pushed him away. Her head screamed that it was wrong, but her heart knew that he was hers, would always be hers, no matter what separated them. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she deepened their kiss. Clothing dropped to the floor around them- his shirt, her dress, until she stood before him in only her shift. 

 

“Tell me to stop,” he rasped as he took a deep breath. “And I will.” 

 

“I don’t want you to,” Ashara replied, her lips still so close to his. “I just want you.” 

 

At her words, Ned lifted her up and carried her over to the small bed. He laid her down and shed the rest of his clothing before lying down next to her. There was no hesitation, no question in his actions as he joined their lips together again. His tongue traced over her bottom lip, begging entrance to her mouth which she gladly gave him as her fingers began to reach between their bodies for his cock. 

 

“Easy, love,” he said as she took his hardening member into her hand and began to stroke him. “Wait.” 

 

Ashara felt confused when he stopped her, unsure of the reason why until Ned reached for the ties on her nightgown and slowly loosed them. 

 

“Let me,” he whispered into her ear before leaving a trail of kisses down her neck. 

 

His lips felt like fire as they danced across her collarbone and shoulder as she shrugged out of her shift enough for him to hastily push it down her body until it bunched around her waist. He cupped one of her breasts in his hand, kneading it gently, but when his touch grew a bit more urgent Ashara hissed and twisted away.

 

“They’re more tender than they were,” she murmured. “Something apparently common for pregnant women.” 

 

“Forgive me,” Ned stammered and his face grew red. It was easy to forget that he was not as experienced as some men were. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

 

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Ashara replied, cupping his face in her hand when he looked up at her. “Just...be gentle.” 

 

He kissed her palm and dropped his head down to do the same to the skin laid bare to him in the valley between her breasts. When he took one of her nipples into his mouth and gently swirled his tongue around it her head fell back against the pillow and a gasp escaped her lips, though this time not out of pain, but out of pleasure. He continued to worship every inch of her with lips, teeth, and tongue. Ashara reached for the knot at the back of his head and worked it free so that she might tangle her fingers into his mess of sandy brown hair. Ned used a free hand to drag her shift further down her hips and she awkwardly moved to aid him in its removal until she was, at last, naked under his touch.

 

He paused when he reached her belly, perhaps he noticed a difference there, for she certainly did. Though it was still unnoticeable under her gowns and cloaks, the signs of a gentle curve were beginning to show, a promise of the life she held. He laid his cheek against it and then his palm and Ashara could have wept at the gesture. 

 

“Ned,” she whispered. 

 

“I love you,” he replied, though she was not sure if it was meant for her or their child. 

 

She beckoned him back up to her, allowing him to settle easily between her thighs as he rested his weight on either side of her. His face hovered over hers and in the glow from the candlelight, Ashara knew that this would be how she always remembered him. Years from that moment, when she thought back on him she would think of the way he looked at her as if she were the only thing that mattered in the whole world and have no regrets about anything she shared with him. 

 

He reached between their bodies and dipped a finger between the folds of her lower lips, finding her to be wet already in anticipation of him. When he had made love to her months before he had used his mouth and tongue to give her pleasure, but now she was too needy, too desperate to wait much longer for him. Hands gripped at his shoulders when she felt his cock replace his finger, nudging between her folds. Slowly, he teased her from her entrance to her clit, circling the tip around her sensitive bundle of nerves. A moan formed in the back of her throat and he swallowed it into his mouth as he brought his lips down upon hers again. 

 

“Need you,” she said in an attempt to catch her breath. 

 

“You have me,” he replied softly as he stared into her violet orbs and eased his cock into her waiting cunt. 

 

Ashara’s hips lurched off the bed, bucking into his as he began to move within her with slow and deliberate strokes. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him even deeper into her. They should be quiet, she knew, for the ship was full and the cabin walls were undoubtedly thin, but she could not stop the string of passion-laced cries that escaped her lips. 

 

Ned pushed up off his elbows and pressed this fingers into her hips as he drove into her. There would be marks there in the morning and she would cherish them until they faded. He filled her so completely, bringing her closer and closer to the precipice with each and every thrust. His lips left hers to drop open mouthed kisses across her neck and shoulder before dragging them back up to her ear. He gently took her lobe between his teeth, worrying the flesh and soothing it with his tongue. 

 

“I can tell your close,” he murmured, his nose pressed against her hair. 

 

“So close,” Ashara nearly sobbed, her legs beginning to shake as they fell away from his body. 

 

“Come for me, Shara,” Ned coaxed as his hips rolled in an erratic pace. 

 

Suddenly her walls were spasming around him, her nails digging into his back as she cried into his mouth in sheer ecstasy. He followed her soon after, spilling his seed deep within her as he thrust a few final times before collapsing into the bed next to her. 

 

She tucked herself into his side, relishing the feeling of his arms pulling her impossibly closer. If she was not already carrying his child, she would have prayed to the Seven that his seed might take root and blossom into new life in her womb. Try as she might, Ashara could not keep her eyes open. This was how it always should have been for them. 

 

As sleep began to threaten, she imagined that they were not wedged into a small bed in a ship’s cabin, but in a large, grand bed in the Lord’s chambers at Winterfell. A fire crackled in the great hearth, a hound nestled in front of it. She would have to coax her lord husband away from his work. They would see to it that Jon was sleeping peacefully in his cradle, each kissing his head before retiring to their own bed. He would know love, she would make sure of that. When their own babe was born, they would raise them alongside one another. It was possible to imagine all of those things, even if they were merely a dream. 

 

* * *

Ashara could feel Ned’s eyes on her as she moved about the cabin. The shipped had docked at the port of Sunspear and she was gathering what few belongings she had bought before they set sail. She did not want to look at him, could not look at him. Waking up by his side had brought her back to the reality of their situation. 

 

“Come with me.”

 

“Ned…” she replied, putting down the shawl she was folding. When she turned to face him, he stood from where he sat on the edge of the bed. 

 

“I’ve never begged for anything, Ashara,” he said as he took her face in his hands. “But I’m begging you now. Please, don’t do this. Come North, please. Or we could leave. We could go somewhere else. Just be with me.” 

 

“And forsake your wife? Your home?” 

 

“I  _ would _ .” 

 

“Then you would not be the man I love,” she said sadly as she wrapped her hands around his wrists. “You’re making this harder than it already is.” 

 

“Maybe it’s hard for a reason. Maybe it means we’re making a mistake.” 

 

“Ned...oh Ned. I think it means we’re doing the right thing. This is the bravest thing we can do.” 

 

“It doesn’t feel brave,” Ned said. Ashara watched as tears welled up in his eyes. 

 

“I know,” she replied, reaching it up to cup his face. He dropped his head and rested it against her own. “I’m afraid of losing you. But someone once told me that a man can only be brave when he’s afraid.” 

 

He swallowed a sob and buried his face in her neck, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her close. She felt his tears on her neck and only then did she allow her own to fall. 

 

“I’ll always love you, Shara. No matter what.” 

 

“As if I could stop loving you. I hope the babe looks like you.” 

 

Ned allowed himself to laugh and pulled away from her then to wipe at his eyes with the palms of his hands. 

 

“Gods be good, they’ll look nothing like me. Take care of yourself, hmm?” 

 

“I will. I promise you, Ned.” 

 

**_Winterfell- Twenty-Three Years Later_ **

 

“Are your rooms to your liking, Your Grace?” Jon asked as he kissed her shoulder. 

 

Dany was teetering on the edge of sleep when his words pulled her back. The warmth of the room and bed, the dark ale she was unaccustomed to at supper, and the way their lovemaking left her feeling sated and safe all helped lull her into a comfortable state. 

 

“They are now,” she replied, pulling his arm even further around her. “Now that you’re here.”

 

“I warned you that you might not receive the warmest welcome from the Northerners.”

 

“You did. I thought this would be a cold place, a castle situated so far in the North, but it’s not, save for the people.” 

 

“That’s from the hot springs I told you about. They pipe the hot water through the walls.” 

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Dany clarified as she rolled onto her back. “I never had a real home. Not one that I can remember anyway. The way you are with your family, it just seems...familiar, even if it’s not mine.” 

 

“They’ll come around,” Jon assured her. “Once they come to see you for what you are, I promise.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated!


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